早餐

我：有豆角馅的包子吗?

服务员：没有，只有猪肉大葱的。

我：行吧，我要两个猪肉大葱馅的带走。

回到公司，吃了第一口，感觉，还好，今天的大葱不多，再吃，怎么是豆角的? 第二个，还是豆角的。。。。。。。

于是我很奇怪为什么卖包子的MM每次都给我这样的惊喜！

终于结束了持久的学习战，想到那天的考题，一份15页的材料，让我们在2个半小时内根据此材料写一篇长达500-800的文章。

主人公很熟悉，都是女性地位和价值的代言人，主题也当然是关于女性在家庭、社会的角色的定位。一直认为舒婷的致橡树最能表达我的想法，于是我再次找到了它。

I know it is very hard to mingle into a new environment especially when you are a not in your mother land. Chinese is renowned for hospitality however it is not always the case. What I experienced triggers me to think about the situation of overseas Chinese. We all complain how overseas Chinese are treated. Those foreigners do not respect or believe us and vise versa. What’s wrong with our fellow? Divergent cultural background、or I should say that it is the damned evil of our human being who works？

Frankness and innocence will not do any good to you if you are with those stupid fellows. The only thing is that you will be taken advantage without knowing anything or persecuted as a foolish clown in their eyes. I am such a clown maybe all our human kind is a clown in the universe. One Chinese, an elite while three mean a team of nothing. That is the very explanation of that question. As Hawthorne says, there is evil in everyone’s heart. The evil takes away the kindness leaving hypocrisy and selfishness. What a shame! Do I have to be that or should I turn deaf ear to all? Sometimes, I turn to silence or obedience which turns out to be so ridiculous and funny. I am so silly. So I refuse the ego, and I should be tough and strong. Time tests!

今年比较懒，连自己饿北京有点冷了，我和家人说，和远方的朋友说。简单的几个字却勾起我无限的感慨。去年此时，我何曾想到我现在的境况，短短的一年，我做出的决定会影响到我的一生，其实已经在影响我。学习和工作的取舍，现状和未来的判断。一个决定，几秒钟，认识一个人，几秒钟，了解一个人，也许一生都不够。

写到这，忽然有件事情让我心里不舒服，于是我就放弃了，谁让我很懒呢。

花开寂寞

N天前，小猪来我这玩，就顺便从她家的紫罗兰上掐了几株带给我。说这个花很皮实，栽在土里就行，几乎不用管它。我胡乱找个个塑料罐，挖墙角弄了点土，就把它们丢进去了。某天早晨掀开窗帘，突然看到了花，这个小东西夹在叶缝里，似乎在偷看我，打量着新的家呢。现在它已经脱离了母体，成为单独的一株了，活得朝气蓬勃。小猪家的那株母体知道分离的痛苦么，知道自己生命的一部分被带到另外一个陌生的环境里，独立，自由生长么？这朵淡紫色的小花儿如同新生儿般用好奇，探索的眼睛观察这个世界，花如人，人如花。始终要离开，始终有寂寞，始终在相思。我不知道花儿是如何赶走寂寞，化解思念的痛苦？是因为它凋谢了么？

这孤独的一朵儿，独自绽放，花开寂寞。

It has been so long since I finished my assignment a few years ago. Now, I am experiencing the good old days as a student. The job for me is really so difficult and it costs me a couple of days to finish. However, I make it. Cool!

The Triumph of the Egg                        

To begin with, the plot of the novella falls on three parts. First and foremost, it tells us that a cheerful and kind-hearted man who used to be a farmhand living a simple and happy life just as his peers in the country when he is single. However, everything turns out to be so different when he gets married with an ambitious country school teacher who boasts great expectations and inspirations and she intends to realize the dream to be a relatively rich. With his wife’s inspiration and encouraging, he works hard by raising chicken but fails at last. The failure in the business dives the story to a higher-lever with the whole family’s move to a new place, a town where a train station is located. He ambitiously tries his hand on running the so-called restaurant according to his wife’s direction. The movement into a relatively modern word foreshadows the conflict between his outdated thinking with the modernization. The business does not go well, and he makes an idea of how to reverse the situation by entertaining the consumers. The climax reaches when he fails to amuse the young fellow in a raining night.

In the fiction, Anderson employs different symbols to refreshes us and gives us diversified images and in-depth understanding of one’s position and identity in the modern society. The crowning symbolic feature is the egg, which should be regarded as the most vivid depiction of American Dream. It is that the spirit of that dream spurs the grass-root to gain wealth, recognition and identity so as to realize the value of life. The business of chicken-raising and restaurant-running are the exact method and way to make the dream come true. Through the pilgrimage towards the dream, the egg servers as the output of his first business; for the second one, the dynamic character is supposed to win his success by playing a trick with the egg. However, he fails. We see clearly the essence of dual image of the egg or American dream hope carrier and destroyer. Further more, the different places and whereabouts serve as symbolic image in the short story. The poor stony land and the movement to Pickleville stand for the unrecoverable failure and dreaming to become a member of the modern world. We also see the train, running business as the coming of industrialization and modernization. Hence, we get to know that the outdated and traditional way of life is inevitably replaced by the modern institution. The raining night also foreshadows and symbols that outcome. 

As far as the character is concerned, father of the narrator, destroyed and depressed farmer-turned-businessman, is a typical round character of the novelette. Originally, he is just an ordinary country man without lofting ambition and enjoys his simple and sound bachelor life. Hence, his marriage serves as a turning point for his changing and revelation. He confidently starts his upward journey but meets his first failure-chicken raising in the country. The hard work and investment gain nothing but the lost. However, when he and the family settle down in Pickleville, he is determined to change and brave the twists and turns ahead. The protagonist gains the American spirit and becomes progressive. He takes it for granted that he will be successful by entertaining the consumer, to be specifically, Joe Kane, son of a merchant of Bidwell.

To his astonishment and surprise, he is totally wrong, what he is doing proves to be so funny, ridiculous and nothing joyful in the eyes of the young. Depression and disillusion prevails the former sense of becoming success.

Ironies here and there in the short story play an irreplaceable role to highlight the theme. Firstly, we know that man in that society shoulders the responsibility to support the family and is expected to be ambitious. The father in the short story is exactly the opposite. It is the narrator’s mother who gets the idea but she doesn’t realize it. The second irony lies in the narrator’s mother who does not have hope for his husband but for her son who will become a town people. The third and the most significant irony is that the diligent and progressive family does not receive what they expect. Their traditional way of thinking and doing business can not match the development of the industrialization progress.  

Now, as regards theme of this story, the author mainly lampoons American Dream and the destructive forces of industrialization and modernization upon tradition. The narrator’s family is one of the ingredients of the lower class and they are looking forward to rising in the world and making their dream come true. The narrator’s parents work hard and diligently in an attempt to make a better living and gain the position. The business they run ends up with failure which could be attributed to the power of industrialization and modernization. That power destroys the traditional way of life, while people are still in the tradition. The conflict between the two is generates trouble and uncertainties to those who could not handle it well.

   曾感叹唐僧在大话西游里的那股啰嗦劲，居然把妖怪逼得上吊自杀，倾情演唱Only You时被孙某人大骂，O你妈的头呀，可没料到身边竟然也有和唐大师啰嗦功夫不相上下的主。自从在那个每天必须去的地方见识到某个人的唐僧功夫后，我就害怕和她说话，但总免不了有些沟通。暗自庆幸换了地方后，却又让我领略到另外一个和她有相同功力的Only You。

  一句话可以给你翻来覆去的捣腾N遍， 也许在她的意识里就是，不求简单，但求复杂，把一切复杂化是我的追求目标。 以前听到她与其它同事的对话，当时很有股幸灾乐祸的感觉，因为我不用为了工作上的事情和她说话，可今天却是很莫名其妙的因工作上的事情和她有了进一步的接触。大致如下：

  那个XX呀，不是我。。。。，而是。。。。，因为我。。。，而Ta 呢。。。。。，结果。。。。。，你说。。。。，之前吧，我。。。。。，曾经。。。。，现在。。。。。。，但由于XX而。。。。。，所以我打算。。。。。。，实在是。。。。。还有一大串的所谓的原因，把所有和她说的事件相关的东西，一股脑儿都搬到她的思想里，通过张得不是很大幅度的嘴巴连珠似的蹦出来。

  OMG， 难以忍受的痛苦，于是我想起了那个被逼上吊的可怜的妖怪。感叹，佩服她的啰嗦功力能达到炉火纯青的地步定是下了苦功夫，或许生来就具备这种本领。但愿她的下一代不要遗传这种基因就好。

也许是太累了，这几天每天早晨都被闹钟吵醒，赖到八点左右才不情愿的起床，再匆忙的赶到公司。那天吃完午饭后居然趴在办公桌上睡着了，醒来后无比的难受，可是还有很多活儿要干，迷迷糊糊中好不容易撑到下班，昨天下午又开始头晕眼花，本想再小憩一会儿，可是害怕重复前天的症状，干脆不睡觉，那股难受劲儿真是无法形容，昏昏沉沉的干活，眼睛是眯着的，电脑屏幕是模糊的，大脑是浑沌的，思维是混乱的，身体是慵懒的，天空是灰蒙蒙的，我是困倦的。终于等到五点半，我下意识的拿起包，打卡，下楼，外面的空气很冷，心想也许这样可以令我清醒点，可是没有，我似乎是飘飘着回家的，扔下包，躺在沙发上，不愿动弹，大脑里一片空白，时间就在此刻凝结，为何会如此疲惫？

   昨天看到俞敏洪老师的Blog上说新东方的一个发耳机的员工怎样成长为新东方的一名老师，再到新东方一个分校的校长的经历，心态或者说是性格决定了他能够突破自己之前的工作，逐步成长，走向成功。室友说我最近很不上进，没有看到我学习，精神状态也不好，我承认，我是敏感，情绪的控制能力很差，很多因素造成了我现在这种疲惫的心态，心累胜过身体的疲惫。我说女人是矛盾的集合体，反反复复，看似无理取闹，可谁知道心里的苦。于是就在矛盾里挣扎着，徘徊着，痛苦着，仿佛陷入了无法自拔的境地，让自己筋疲力尽，找不到方向。也许某天看着蓝天就突然醒悟，以前的那些痛苦也是成长的一部分，是丰富生命阅历的不可或缺的一分子，那时天空就是晴朗的，一切又都是美好的了，原来都是在给自己的思想作茧。

变态的事情总是接二连三的。TMD，累死我了，这周，每天都是超强度的工作，天天被催促着干这干那的， 现在似乎有点神志不清，好累，想睡觉，想蜷在暖暖的沙发上看喜欢的电影。。。。。

突然想套用鲁迅先生的一句名言：不在欺骗中爆发，就在欺骗中灭亡。对于那些欺骗的行径，我们要采取行动，坚决打击。先从阵势上压倒这些无耻的混蛋们。

 不经意间看到公司后面小区里的2拍黄灿灿的银杏树叶，一时惊叹它的美，一片片叶子犹如蝴蝶展翅高飞，精灵的色彩么？应该给它拍下来，于是拿出手机，贪心的我想把所有的美景都拍到手机里，但这种想法很不可行，小小的手机如何能将这些美都囊括？　半月形的设计的路让我无法欣赏到在钓鱼台银杏树林的那种感觉，但这仅有的2排树却存在于高楼林立的这里，颇能让你的心情大好，时而还有几片落叶飘过，落在水泥路上，落在草坪里，映入眼帘。还有什么烦恼呢，赶紧用眼睛来收藏这美丽吧。说来奇怪，每天中午都经过这，却忽略了。

  我说，喜欢坐在满地落叶的银杏树林里，几缕阳光照在脸上，几片落叶映入眼帘，静静的听着叶子沙沙作响的那种感觉，万物皆静，我就是宇宙，任我的思想天马行空。似乎美景容易让人浮想联翩，这被我不经意间发现的美啊，在我的世界里，存在源于发现，否则一切都是虚无。

I received a phone call from one of my college classmates yesterday. It’s really a surprise. We used to live under a roof; however, I chose to move out the so-called dormitory for some reasons. The memories are fresh in my mind and what she done to me and my dear friend is the last thing I can forget. Frankly speaking, I hate the bad guy and her partner when I recall their bad doings and hurts they gave to me. I have told myself one thousand and one times that it is so foolish to remember or to hate someone hurts you so much because I have to reserve a place in my mind for her. Why? Just for hates’ sake? Does it worthwhile? There is so much for me to cherish, and who are the stupid creature I need to remember all the time. That is really another way of torturing me. 

As Celien Dion sings: everyone tells me to be strong and don’t shed a tear. The eventful days have past and grow stronger thanks to the hardships and hurts. Every coin has two sides. Thank you very much for your hurts. Or I will be another girl.

I have thrown all the unhappiness and your bad behavior. Your phone call reminds me of your existing. I won’t be the helpless, ignorant girl a few years ago. So, please leave me alone or I will do something surprises you, I swear!

早上兴致勃勃的准备冲出家门上班，结果同屋一MM哼哼叽叽的靠着门框说：今天重阳节呢，郁闷呀，你看WH（另一合住MM）她们单位组织去爬山，周日才能回来呢。昨天晚上去看天鹅湖了。

我; 真的？ 还有这么高的品位，居然去欣赏天鹅湖。

MM继续：是呀，上次发工资了，比合同上签的工资多了3K，还发了中秋过节费，

我：啊啊啊，愈加羡慕，看来她每天半夜回家还挺值得的，能看到明显的收成，换了是我，我也乐意。

ＭＭ：她们单位每周四都会组织去看电影或者话剧什么的，反正都会有节目，为啥我的那个公司什么都没有呢，现在我的工资在我同学当中是最低的了，你说我怎么办呢，郁闷死了。

我：看来ＷＨ的公司待遇还不错，国企么，还是私人的？　

ＭＭ：私人的，但人家的企业文化好呀，啥我的那个公司就没有呢，上次中秋节时候我们的二老板说要发过节费，给老大打电话，老大说什么我们公司从来都没有给员工发过过节费。

我：你们的老大很愿意继承传统。哎，别说了，我也郁闷呢，还是要上班，还是要吃饭，我们一起去楼下买早点，往公司的方向前进。　

说实话，大早上的听到这个消息，首先会想到比较，于是叹气，郁闷，羡慕，下决心，再生气，郁闷＋祝福，来到公司，打开电脑，没有邮件，看新闻，再次想到自己的处境，再郁闷，无奈的摇头，继续工作，Ｎ天后，忘却。。。。。。

悲观的人和乐观的人看到半瓶水，悲观的人会说：只剩下半瓶水了，乐观的人说：还好，还有半瓶水。 如果把自己任何比不上别人的地方都用那种乐观者的心态予以解释，或许这辈子可以活得从容点，也没有必要那么累。但从另一种角度看，似乎这种思想就是一种麻醉剂，让你感觉不到伤痛，从而也就失去了前进的动力。哎，我也糊涂了，到底是悲观，还是乐观呢？